Alligator hold

This isn't my proudest moment. Kosmo snapped this shot as I was put in the Alligator hold because I was out of control. I finally lost it over not getting any turkey and I was tearing up the house. All I wanted was some turkey...is that too much to ask? It didn't need to come to this.....

No way!

What the ? ......... Something is VERY wrong in Romanoffland. The court Jester has been given the Turkey bone? Heads will roll when I find out who is responsible for this. The Supreme Ruler of Romanoffland hasn't been given any turkey and non shall be given to his peasants! I just can't believe it...... I'm going to bed wake me when it's Christmas and I get another chance at Turkey.

Give Me, Give Me, Give Me

MMMMM... I can smell that turkey. You better be making a plate for me! If king Roman says, Give me, and the peasant should obey. I can't believe you have been torturing me with this smell all day and I'm not going to get some turkey? I'm practically drooling. I can't take it much longer before I jump on the counter at the risk of being swatted! Too late.... I'm jumping......The big score.... Turkey! MMMM closer.... closer.... SWAT...... Run run run. Well I almost got
to taste the turkey.

Turkey Hunting

There are smells of food cooking in the land of Romanoff today. Particularly I smelled the scent of TURKEY! Turkey is a favorite in the land, and us Cats crave it constantly. I enlisted my Court Jester Kosmo to help me track down the Turkey. Here you see us as we approach the strange bird as it dances around.

It made all kinds of racket as it sang a dumb bird song and hopped around the floor. I pounced forward for the kill, but stopped short as a realized it was a cotton polyester blend bird. They don't taste good at all ... I tried it last year. We left this dumb singing bird for the humans, we'll get the one I spotted cooking in the oven later.

Did I ever tell you of BOXES?

These plastic tubs that the humans store things in are cat-erific! They are so comfortable to lay on. I enjoy cool surfaces like the tile floor and this plastic top is so great. Kosmo doesn't know what he is missing...of course he is scared of the boxes! Chicken cat. Of course I don't help any because when he comes by the boxes, I swat him in the face.

Red Bag!

Red Bag mania! This bag was so awesome. It was huge and balloon-like so I had a great place to hide. I played all afternoon in this bag..... the humans say I don't need anything for Christmas because I don't play with my toys.... I just play with boxes, bags, newspapers, and balled up paper. Can you believe them.... clearly I play with my toys! The toys are just really hungry and hang out by the food.

Up to my old tricks

The humans think it is funny that I bring my toys to my food bowl. That is my fish that used to be on a stick and my bell that is still on the stick. I'm usually in the middle of playing and decide I need a snack.... so the toys end up here. I haven't done this for a while, since I was a kitten when I had a big mouse that I would put in my bowl. So it has a kitten charm about it to the humans.... they say "awwwwwww" he's so cute. I'll keep doing it and looking up with my best kitten face because I'm the Cutest kitty here!

Stop it.....STOP IT

The girl human was really ticking me off......blowing her nose. So I ran up and swatted her in the shin! Well she laughed at me ...... I am king and when I say stop; YOU STOP. I swatted her on the other leg to show her I'm not trying to be cute. Then she walked away and blew her nose again....so I ran over and swatted her in the knees. BAP! BAP!

She walked away again and tried to trick me because she got the camera and fake blew her nose and stuck out her leg for swatting. I'm not falling for that ....so I just gave her the evil eye....Then she blinded me with the flash. Darn it.

BAGS,BAGS,BAGS

Oh goodie goodie, the girl human brought in bags again. These bags show up every weekend. They always appear when the girl human comes back from... the "growshry"? Something like that it's where humans get their food (which I like a lot better than my food) Stupid vet saying I have to eat this food...... I should be eating steaks and royal feasts for the king! Not these dry bits of ......you know what......uninary tract health B>S>

Sorry got off on a tangent there..... BAGS BAGS BAGS I love BAGS!

Hard Day

Cat, it was a hard day. The humans were both at work and I set out to learn how to use the TV. I hung out on the couch all day. Umm... I mean I was on the floor....... Uhhh anyway, I figured out the TV all I have to do is push these buttons on this black tube! This was a great accomplishment for Romanoffland, leaps and bounds in the science department. Space travel here I come..... after my nap.

Cold Day, Hot Drink

It's way too cold outside for Texas cats like me. It's only 60 outside right now and it's suppose to get down to 32 tonight! In times like these, I roll up into a ball in a nice warm blanket and have some hot chocolate with marshmallows.

The elusive sunbeam

Finally, I have found the elusive kitchen sunbeam and claim it in the name of Romanoffland. Usually I enjoy the cool tile but today I need to be warmed up. The temperature was almost down to freezing last night and it's a bit chilly this morning on the tile. I have found and caught my sunbeam... but it has also caught me...ZZZZ

When's Dinner?

I know it's only 8am, but I am hungry! My peasant providers don't feed me enough, hence my thin build. You would think being King of Romanoffland would give me certain benifits...evidentely getting food when I want is not one of them. I would prefer to have unrestricked access to my bucket of food all day. If only I had thumbs, I could open the lid myself.

Romanoffland has fallen on hard times (probally due to failing hedge funds). To all my fans out there, please, please send your donation's of food to the address below before I stave!

Atten: King Roman
555 Kitty Cat Lane
Romanoffland, Tx 55555

Sprung

I snuck out yesterday while the humans were at work and broke Kosmo out of jail. I had to do it...turns out I need him in Romanoffland after all. I walked right into the jail during lunch, no one seemed to even notice me. The jail cell opened easily with a carefully placed claw in the lock. Kosmo and I ran out of there before anyone knew what was going on.

The picture below was taken shortly after we arrived back in Romanoffland. Here you see us looking out the window as I discuss with Kosmo his new role in Romanoffland...Court Jester.

Kosmo Jailed

At last I have my revenge on that orange cat Kosmo. My plan to frame him for wrecking the humans car worked. The police found orange hair and cat prints all over the interior of the Delorean. They pulled him from his little cat bed early this morning and locked him up. Here is a picture I took shortly after his incarceration.

Now, I am the only kitty! Roman the supreme leader of Romanoffland reins with an iron paw, and his subjects bow....(gasp). Oh cat! With Kosmo locked up I don't have any subjects to bow down to me, no one to push around, and no one to blame for the bad things I do. I know what I need to do...

Can you believe it?

I can't believe it.... what nerve that orange cat has. Scratching on my post at the Tower of Power. This is just too far, as you can see by the look on my face here. He is just scratching away and clueless to his offense. The Tower of Power is for native Romanofflanders and I am the only one here. I really need to get that time machine working so I can get rid of this orange cat.

Finally home

Well I was a sad kitty this weekend because my girl human was out of town. She was gone for six feedings. I can't believe I had to wait around for the boy human to feed me.....plus he doesn't give us as much because he sticks to the recommended amount! I still had a good time with the boy human and had to bug him for extra petting and follow him where ever he went. I thought he was going to let me sleep on the bed with him.....but he still kicked me out at bedtime. Oh well, things are back to normal now that "mommy" is home.

You can't eat pine cones.

I tried and tried to eat this pine cone. It's really hard and didn't taste good. Too bad, because they are everywhere and I could eat like a king. Wait a minute.... I am a King! Out here I wouldn't have to share with Kosmo either because he is too chicken to come outside. Oh cat, I've got to find a CHICKEN costume for Kosmo next year. Ha Ha ha that would be so awesome.

Attack!

Playing outside is so much fun! I hid in the bushes and surprised the girl human when she was weeding the garden. Ha ha I got her good. She even screamed. That will teach her to put me in the house when I need to play. (oh...now that I think about that...... maybe not...)

This is me ready for my next victim....... here boy human, here boy human. I think there is a piece of chocolate under this bush. hee hee hee.

yardwork?

My faithful readers of Roman Tails know I enjoy going outside and sniffing the plants. However, today I couldn't believe that the girl human wanted me to help her plant the tulip bulbs. WORK? You must be joking... I know she has a hurt shoulder, but that doesn't mean I have to work. This is my saddest look so that I wouldn't have to dig in the dirt and get my white paws dirty. It wasn't working........ So I reminded her of my supreme rule over Romanoffland and it is her job to keep the gardens nice for me. That didn't work either and it got me banished into the house. RATS!

Nap of Luxury

Of course I need blankets fit for a king..... finally the girl human has put out the winter blankets. I'm glad she realized the old winter blankets were not luxurious enough and I require fuzzy blankets for my royal bed. Ahhh.... this is how the supreme ruler of Romanoffland should be treated....FINALLY. (PS. don't let the boy human see this....I'm not allowed on their bed)

Best View in the place

I got a little crazy today when the girl human was taking down the Halloween decorations. It's tricky for me to get up to this place because too much jumping power will toss me over the edge. I'm usually afraid of that so, I don't get enough power and have to claw my way up to get my butt on the ledge. I can't believe the humans say I can't get up there very well because of my weight...... non-sense. It's planned so that I don't hurl myself over the edge of course. They don't like me up there anyway....to bad because it has the best view in the place. Even better than the Tower of Power if you can believe it.

Civilized evening

Here are some photos of us before the party when we were sitting with our humans and enjoying a nice family moment. The girl human was so excited to see us in our costumes....of course we can't let her know we like them and were going to wear them all night for the party. I decided to show her what I thought about the costumes and headed straight for my litter box....apparently they know that trick from previous cats.

PARTY

Man, you missed an awesome party last night! We got all the house cats to sneak out when their humans opened the door for trick-or-treaters.....and sneak into our house. The humans have no clue and never will; stupid humans.

Well let's just say that Kosmo and I had a few too many kitti-ritas during the evening. I really think it was my crown that was throwing me off-balance because I can hold my liqueur unlike some other girly orange cats. He fell over in the dinning room and couldn't get up... ha ha.